Not only are we still waiting but... We Are Still Here!!!

We just said goodbye to some friends of ours. They have been waiting to leave too, and just packed up and left in less than a week from when they decided it was time.

About 2 weeks ago another friend of mine finally moved her family to where her husband has been working for the past number of months.

My best friend and her family are packing up to leave next week.

All these people finally getting what they've been waiting for, or what they want, and here we are; longing to do what everyone else it doing. I'm so tired of trying to be patient. But I must press on. Not only for the sake of my own sanity, and for that of my family, but also for the sake of the Kingdom. What good is it for me to go around living life bitter and pessimistic and ungrateful for what I do in fact have? What fruit would that produce? I have seen people like that, and I have also looked into my own bathroom mirror, and I do not like what I see. I do not want to be like that. Not anymore. I want to be joyful and grateful and full of thanksgiving, even amidst the storms. This doesn't mean that I will lie about my struggles and pains though. I will be honest, I think it's essential as well. People need to know we are real, and approachable, and fallen, just like they. They need to know that we too feel hurt and struggle with sins and temptations. No one wants to see a plastic smile and artificial happiness that can only come from hiding and pretending that everything is simply great. There is no glory for the Kingdom when we pretend to be perfect at the expense of others feeling shameful and inferior in our presence, or incapable of producing the same robotic happiness in all things. Nor is there any gain for the Kingdom in us being negative and bitter and full of complaint all the time either. No, we must strive for the middle ground, for honesty and integrity in our interactions with others and in how we live our daily lives. What others should see in us, what I hope others will see in me, is a true joy found only in the peace of being in relationship with Jesus Christ, and a peace that will sustain that joy through the storms. I hope they see my heart break when others are suffering. I hope they see my anger flare when injustice is about. And I hope they can see my earnest struggles and shortcomings too, so that there is a comfort in knowing they are not alone, a chance for conversation to spring up out of common ground. I don't want to be a plastic, botoxed-smile Jesus freak, nor a living martyr for sullen holiness. I want to be a touchable, reachable, honest, joyful, living, breathing, struggling, persevering follower of Christ. Though I may not be proud of where I'm at; and though I may be always striving for more, for betterness, for holiness; I am who I am and I am where I am. And people who encounter me deserve to see me for what I am. The good, the bad and the ugly. People need honesty, it's a breeding ground for Truth.

"I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am"

~John Newton